THE WEDDING PARTY
Many friends come and go in our lives. Only a few earn the honor of standing with us on our big day. Who merits the honor and who can tackle the tasks of planning a wedding? For most, these questions are easily answered --- your brother, sister, or best friend will suffice ---- but what happens when you’re in between friends? How does a bride go about replacing a best guy friend with the role a female friend would normally play as maid or matron of honor?
While many of these questions will be outlined below, it’s important to remember that this is your wedding. You know the member of your bridal party intimately enough to make the decisions. Therefore, consider their feelings and the important part they played in your life and mold your big day to fit their unique personalities. Reflect upon the following advice as you consider what tasks your friends and family would enjoy.
BRIDESMAIDS
Bridesmaids share an important role in helping the bride carry the burden of event planning --- you won’t be able to enjoy a sizable wedding without them. The most important of these is the maid or matron of honor. She is tasked with appearing at the bridal affairs and keeping abreast of all important appointments. Choosing a maid or matron of honor should not be based upon the person’s ability to plan events. However, you should share your expectations as her inability to invest time may lead you to look for another maid or matron of honor.
While many of these questions will be outlined below, it’s important to remember that this is your wedding. You know the member of your bridal party intimately enough to make the decisions. Therefore, consider their feelings and the important part they played in your life and mold your big day to fit their unique personalities. Reflect upon the following advice as you consider what tasks your friends and family would enjoy.
BRIDESMAIDS
Bridesmaids share an important role in helping the bride carry the burden of event planning --- you won’t be able to enjoy a sizable wedding without them. The most important of these is the maid or matron of honor. She is tasked with appearing at the bridal affairs and keeping abreast of all important appointments. Choosing a maid or matron of honor should not be based upon the person’s ability to plan events. However, you should share your expectations as her inability to invest time may lead you to look for another maid or matron of honor.
- Remember, this isn’t the movie 27 Dresses --- you can have a small number of bridesmaids by limiting your selection to only siblings.
- Be courteous and ask your future spouse’s sister(s) or niece(s) to be bridesmaids.
- Struggling to find friends to act as your bridesmaids? It’s never too late to make few new lifelong friends.
GROOMSMEN
The best man has many responsibilities to play in the months leading up to your wedding. Choosing this person should not be based solely on his ability to give speeches or his experience as an event planner. Like the maid of honor, your best man should understand his responsibilities.
WEDDING DAY RESPONSIBILITIES
The friends and family you choose to stand with you at your ceremony are not ornaments --- although their attire should look stylish --- everyone has a unique role to play. The following is a list of helpful responsibilities that you should delegate to your bridal party.
Maid of Honor
Best Man
Bridesmaids
Groomsmen
Bride’s Mother
Bride’s Father
Groom’s Mother
Groom’s Father
Pets
The best man has many responsibilities to play in the months leading up to your wedding. Choosing this person should not be based solely on his ability to give speeches or his experience as an event planner. Like the maid of honor, your best man should understand his responsibilities.
- If thinning the herd to get a smaller group of groomsmen is becoming stressful, consider limiting your scope to only siblings and relatives to avoid hurt feelings
- We strongly recommend asking your fiancé’s brothers to be groomsmen, if you anticipate that not doing so would cause a problem.
- Coming up short with guy friends to include as groomsmen? It’s never too late to make new friends.
- Ask your best man to practice his toast in front of some friend to help him stave off embarrassment on your wedding day.
- Don’t let age hold you back in choosing groomsmen. You may wish to consider anyone who has been a mentor in your life.
WEDDING DAY RESPONSIBILITIES
The friends and family you choose to stand with you at your ceremony are not ornaments --- although their attire should look stylish --- everyone has a unique role to play. The following is a list of helpful responsibilities that you should delegate to your bridal party.
Maid of Honor
- Assists the bride in her dress selection
- Helps the bride get in and out of her dress and stores the dress for the bride following the wedding
- Holds the groom’s ring during the ceremony for wedding without a ring bearer
- Accompanies bride and groom to act as a witness for the signing of the marriage license
Best Man
- Finances permitting, he pays for the wedding’s officiant
- Holds the bride’s wedding ring for weddings without a ring bearer
- Returns his attire and the groom’s attire if they are renting tuxedos
- Teaches groomsmen how to greet and usher for the ceremony
- Accompanies the bride and groom when they apply for a marriage license to act as a witness
- Give a speech at the rehearsal dinner and at the reception meal
- Plans the bachelor party
Bridesmaids
- Plan the bridal shower
- Assist in wedding planning
Groomsmen
- The groomsmen can be available to help the mothers gather wedding supplies, serve as the set-up team for the ceremony or run errands. Weddings are busy happenings and many hands make light work.
Bride’s Mother
- Helps her daughter’s wishes come to fruition by sharing useful tips that she learned from her own wedding
- Prepares guest list
- Plans the ceremony and reception with her daughter
- Goes with the bride to select her dress
- Chooses her wedding attire first and then tells mother of the groom about the cut and color of her dress
Bride’s Father
- Gives bride away at the ceremony
- Shares wedding responsibilities with his wife
Groom’s Mother
- Prepares guest list for her side of the family and her son’s friends
- Plans rehearsal dinner with husband
- Chooses her dress according to the color and cut of the bride’s mother’s dress
Groom’s Father
- Offers toast to the bride at the reception
- Shares wedding responsibilities with his wife
Pets
- Don't forget to add your favorite four legged family members!
