ETIQUETTE
Wedding etiquette, which once was clearly defined, has changed over time along with family situations and social norms. Traditionally, the bride’s family paid for the ceremony and reception, and the groom’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner and ring. In today’s pluralistic society all rules are up for interpretation, which means you are not constrained to the expectations of past generations. However, you’ll still want to consider wedding etiquette while planning, making sure that, regardless of your family or social situation, your wedding is in good taste and your guests will be comfortable.
FINANCES
Depending on your monetary needs, you and your fiancé might consider sitting down with both families and having a conversation about a fair way to share the costs of the wedding. The average cost of a wedding in 2011 was $24,000. To that extent, couples and their families are finding new ways to celebrate and to pay for wedding. The spending information that follows is traditional wedding etiquette. However, you, your fiancé and you families may find alternate way to share wedding costs
Traditionally, the bride family pays for:
* Travel expenses for the bride’s family
* Bride’s wedding dress
* Wedding invitations and mailing costs
* Groom’s ring
* Medical checkup for the bride
* Cost for the ceremony and reception
Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for:
* Travel expenses for groom’s family
* The rehearsal dinner
* Medical checkups for the groom
* Bride’s bouquet, grandmother’s corsage and boutonnieres
* Fee for an officiant
* Marriage license
* Honeymoon
Traditionally, attendants pays for:
* Wedding formal wear
* Wedding gifts
* Transportation to the wedding ceremony and reception
FAMILY ETIQUETTE
Members of both families are expected to behave diplomatically toward one another in order to avoid hurt feelings or awkward situations. Wedding etiquette is essential in creating good will between families and assuring that the wedding is a pleasant event. The tips below can get family members started with forming good relationships. For more suggestions, refer to Emily’s Post’s Book of Etiquette.
* Shortly after the engagement, the mother of the groom should contact the mother of the bride and wish her well. It is important for both moms to keep one another informed regarding dresses, important events, and the guest list. Keep in close communication in order to avoid any misunderstandings or problems
* As parents, make an effort to show up at all prenuptial parties (excluding the bachelor/ette parties).
* If you are divorced and planning to get remarried, make it a priority to tell your children first.
* The mother of the bride should choose the color and cut of her dress before the mother of the groom, who should look to find an outfit that is complementary to that of the bride’s mother.
* The groom’s mother should consult the bride’s mother before planning any prenuptial events.
* Make it a point to introduce all close family members to your guests. A receiving line might have been part of the ceremony, but use the reception to further your interactions.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
* Give yourselves plenty of time to plan.
* Maintain steady communication with all members of your wedding party --- your wedding will run much more smoothly
* Listen to ideas and suggestions from siblings, parents and grandparents.
* Remember your budget
* Stay fit, eat well, and improve your physique before your wedding day --- create a fitness routine that will continue well into your marriage
* Communicate with your wedding service providers, even after booking.
* Greet and speak with all your guests during the reception
* Expect the best and plan for the worst --- Murphy’s Law is universal
* Make wedding planning your top priority over other scheduled events.
* Grooms can, and should play an active role in preparing for a wedding.
A FEW THINGS TO AVOID
* Don’t ask guests to provide food or alcohol. Families are expected to provide these items.
* Parents who are separated or divorced should stand apart from their exes in the receiving line. This can be accomplished by alternating your parents with your fiancé’s parents.
* Avoid using electronic means to publicize your wedding. Print your invitations.
FINANCES
Depending on your monetary needs, you and your fiancé might consider sitting down with both families and having a conversation about a fair way to share the costs of the wedding. The average cost of a wedding in 2011 was $24,000. To that extent, couples and their families are finding new ways to celebrate and to pay for wedding. The spending information that follows is traditional wedding etiquette. However, you, your fiancé and you families may find alternate way to share wedding costs
Traditionally, the bride family pays for:
* Travel expenses for the bride’s family
* Bride’s wedding dress
* Wedding invitations and mailing costs
* Groom’s ring
* Medical checkup for the bride
* Cost for the ceremony and reception
Traditionally, the groom’s family pays for:
* Travel expenses for groom’s family
* The rehearsal dinner
* Medical checkups for the groom
* Bride’s bouquet, grandmother’s corsage and boutonnieres
* Fee for an officiant
* Marriage license
* Honeymoon
Traditionally, attendants pays for:
* Wedding formal wear
* Wedding gifts
* Transportation to the wedding ceremony and reception
FAMILY ETIQUETTE
Members of both families are expected to behave diplomatically toward one another in order to avoid hurt feelings or awkward situations. Wedding etiquette is essential in creating good will between families and assuring that the wedding is a pleasant event. The tips below can get family members started with forming good relationships. For more suggestions, refer to Emily’s Post’s Book of Etiquette.
* Shortly after the engagement, the mother of the groom should contact the mother of the bride and wish her well. It is important for both moms to keep one another informed regarding dresses, important events, and the guest list. Keep in close communication in order to avoid any misunderstandings or problems
* As parents, make an effort to show up at all prenuptial parties (excluding the bachelor/ette parties).
* If you are divorced and planning to get remarried, make it a priority to tell your children first.
* The mother of the bride should choose the color and cut of her dress before the mother of the groom, who should look to find an outfit that is complementary to that of the bride’s mother.
* The groom’s mother should consult the bride’s mother before planning any prenuptial events.
* Make it a point to introduce all close family members to your guests. A receiving line might have been part of the ceremony, but use the reception to further your interactions.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
* Give yourselves plenty of time to plan.
* Maintain steady communication with all members of your wedding party --- your wedding will run much more smoothly
* Listen to ideas and suggestions from siblings, parents and grandparents.
* Remember your budget
* Stay fit, eat well, and improve your physique before your wedding day --- create a fitness routine that will continue well into your marriage
* Communicate with your wedding service providers, even after booking.
* Greet and speak with all your guests during the reception
* Expect the best and plan for the worst --- Murphy’s Law is universal
* Make wedding planning your top priority over other scheduled events.
* Grooms can, and should play an active role in preparing for a wedding.
A FEW THINGS TO AVOID
* Don’t ask guests to provide food or alcohol. Families are expected to provide these items.
* Parents who are separated or divorced should stand apart from their exes in the receiving line. This can be accomplished by alternating your parents with your fiancé’s parents.
* Avoid using electronic means to publicize your wedding. Print your invitations.